The Qualities of Skillful Leadership

If you want to be a leader who attracts quality people, the key is to become a person of quality yourself. Leadership is the ability to attract someone to the gifts, skills, and opportunities you offer as an owner, as a manger, as a parent. I call leadership the great challenge of life.

What's important in leadership is refining your skills. All great leaders keep working on themselves until they become effective. Here are some specifics:

1. Learn to be strong but not rude. It is an extra step you must take to become a powerful, capable leader with a wide range of reach. Some people mistake rudeness for strength. It's not even a good substitute.

2. Learn to be kind but not weak. We must not mistake kindness for weakness. Kindness isn't weak. Kindness is a certain type of strength. We must be kind enough to tell somebody the truth. We must be kind enough and considerate enough to lay it on the line. We must be kind enough to tell it like it is and not deal in delusion.

3. Learn to be bold but not a bully. It takes boldness to win the day. To build your influence, you've got to walk in front of your group. You've got to be willing to take the first arrow, tackle the first problem, discover the first sign of trouble.

4. You've got to learn to be humble, but not timid. You can't get to the high life by being timid. Some people mistake timidity for humility. Humility is almost a Godlike word. A sense of awe. A sense of wonder. An awareness of the human soul and spirit. An understanding that there is something unique about the human drama versus the rest of life. Humility is a grasp of the distance between us and the stars, yet having the feeling that we're part of the stars. So humility is a virtue; but timidity is a disease. Timidity is an affliction. It can be cured, but it is a problem.

5. Be proud but not arrogant. It takes pride to win the day. It takes pride to build your ambition. It takes pride in community. It takes pride in cause, in accomplishment. But the key to becoming a good leader is being proud without being arrogant. In fact I believe the worst kind of arrogance is arrogance from ignorance. It's when you don't know that you don't know. Now that kind of arrogance is intolerable. If someone is smart and arrogant, we can tolerate that. But if someone is ignorant and arrogant, that's just too much to take.

6. Develop humor without folly. That's important for a leader. In leadership, we learn that it's okay to be witty, but not silly. It's okay to be fun, but not foolish.

Lastly, deal in realities. Deal in truth. Save yourself the agony. Just accept life like it is. Life is unique. Some people call it tragic, but I'd like to think it's unique. The whole drama of life is unique. It's fascinating. And I've found that the skills that work well for one leader may not work at all for another. But the fundamental skills of leadership can be adapted to work well for just about everyone: at work, in the community, and at home.

Ten Principles Of Motivation

One of the questions I hear most often from executives is "How do I motivate my employees to do the things I want them to do?"

The answer is: You don't!

 

We can't motivate people. They are already motivated. But we can determine what motivates them and use this knowledge to channel their energies toward our company goals.

From my 20 years of helping executives solve their people challenges, I've learned a few basic principles about motivation. Let me share them with you:

1.ALL PEOPLE ARE MOTIVATED.

Some people are like water in a faucet. They have the motivation; all you have to provide is the opportunity. The water is already motivated to flow. But it doesn't have the opportunity until you open the tap.

Others are like mountain streams, which flow swiftly but follow their own channels. People, too, may move energetically, but toward their own goals. We in management should make it worth their while to channel their motivations toward the results management is seeking.

 

2.PEOPLE DO THINGS FOR THEIR REASONS;NOT FOR YOURS OR MINE.

We in management have to show employees what's in it for them when they follow behaviors that benefit the company. We can show them by using rewards and recognition, appealing to their sense of pride and achievement.

 

3.PEOPLE CHANGE BECAUSE OF PAIN.

When the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing, people will change. For example, Americans didn't start buying smaller, fuel-efficient automobiles until the pain of high gasoline prices became greater than the pain of switching to less roomy and less powerful cars.

 

4.THE KEY TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IS IDENTIFICATION.

When something becomes personal, it becomes important. When our clients or our employees begin to identify with who we are and what we are, good things begin to happen.

Large corporations have discovered that. Prudential, for example, knows that its customers want to buy security. So it doesn't just sell insurance; it markets peace of mind by inviting all of us to buy "a piece of the rock."

Kodak doesn't sell film; it invites its customers to "trust your memories to Kodak."

AT&T doesn't tell us to make long-distance calls. It asks us to "reach out and touch someone."

In dealing with employees, it isn't enough to appeal to them on the basis of loyalty to the company. They need personal reasons for showing this loyalty. Whether we're instituting a new educational program or undergoing a total restructuring, we can get our employees on board more readily if we show them how the change will affect them for the better.

When my company sets out to lead corporate teams in developing their human-relations skills, we don't tell them what we're going to do for the company. We talk about what we're going to do for the individual. For example, in the introduction to one of our manuals, we tell supervisors:

We've designed this complete educational system to help YOU master the skills of supervisory management and enjoy the rewards of leadership and career enhancement.

From management's standpoint, the training was designed to increase the effectiveness of the organization. That's what sold the company on the program. But from the employee's standpoint, it was to upgrade the skills of the individual. That's what sold the employees on the program.

 

5.THE BEST WAY TO GET PEOPLE TO PAY ATTENTION TO YOU IS TO PAY ATTENTION TO THEM.

That means listening to others and not just hearing them. Listening is active; hearing is passive. If you listen to individuals long enough, they'll tell you what their concerns and problems are.

It's very important that executives listen to their staff and associates. We need to take the time to get to know them, not just by name, but also by their interests and aspirations.

We should try not to come across as interrogators, but ask them friendly questions about how they are, what they did over the week-end, and what they're doing on vacation. Then listen. It's amazing what you'll learn.

 

6.PRIDE IS A POWERFUL MOTIVATOR.

Everybody is proud of something. If we find out what makes our people proud, we can use that insight to channel their motivation. Pride is tied closely to self-esteem. My friend, Robert W. Darvin, has founded several successful companies, including Scandinavian Design, Inc., and has often used our consulting services and invited me to speak to his people. His observations on self-esteem are worth repeating:

There's only one thing that counts in a business: building the self-esteem of your employees. Nothing else matters, because what they feel about themselves is what they give to your customers. If an employee comes to work not liking his job, not feeling good about himself, you can be sure that your customers will go away not liking or feeling good about your company.

 

7.YOU CAN'T CHANGE PEOPLE; YOU CAN ONLYCHANGE THEIR BEHAVIORS.

To change behavior, you must change feelings and beliefs. This requires more than training. It requires education. When you train people, you just try to teach them a task; when you educate people you deal with them at a deeper level relative to behavior, feelings and beliefs.

 

8.THE EMPLOYEE'S PERCEPTION BECOMES THE EXECUTIVE'S REALITY.

This is a very important point. When we speak to employees, they don't respond to what we say; they respond to what they understand us to say. When employees observe our behavior, they respond to what they perceive us doing, and will try to emulate us.

Suppose you send an employee to a developmental workshop or seminar and she comes back brimming with new ideas and information. But you haven't been exposed to all this stimulating stuff, so your behavior doesn't change. The employee realizes this and concludes that the behavior she observes in you is the behavior you want. This may not be the case at all. You may want the employee to implement all these new ideas, but your employee's perception is the reality you get.

 

9.YOU CONSISTENTLY GET THE BEHAVIORS YOU CONSISTENTLY EXPECT AND REINFORCE.

We should look for ways to reward employees for doing the things we want them to do. The reward may take the form of financial incentives, prizes, or simply public recognition of a job well done. Reinforcement can be positive or negative, as my Roundtable partner, Ken Blanchard, has taught us all. If employees learn that a certain type of behavior results in lower earnings, less favorable hours or less desirable territories, they'll adjust their behavioral patterns.

 

10.WE ALL JUDGE OURSELVES BY OUR MOTIVES; BUT WE JUDGE OTHERS BY THEIR ACTIONS.

Put another way, we're inclined to excuse in ourselves behavior that we find unacceptable in others. When our employees are late for work, it's because they're irresponsible and have no interest in their jobs. When we're late for work, it's because we were attending to necessary details that had to be taken care of.

When employees engage in undesirable behavior, we shouldn't try to assess motives or change them. Just deal with the behavior. We can't change the motives of our employees, but through positive or negative reinforcement you can affect their actions.

Follow these principles and you'll find yourself surrounded by motivated employees who are channeling their energies toward your corporate goals -- goals in which they have personal stakes

A Beggar

Once a man was waiting for a taxi.
A beggar came along and asked him for some money.
The man ignored him. But being a professional, thebeggar kept on pestering him.
The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with somemoney.
Suddenly an idea struck him. He told the beggar, "I do not have money, But if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you."
"I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar.
The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea". He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar.
The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health."
The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good". The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver". The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going to the race course. Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone".
As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offered saying, "Sorry sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit."
Suddenly the man felt relieved !! and asked the beggar to come to his home with him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with you".
The man replied.................................................
"My wife always wanted to see how a man with no Bad habits looks లికె
Keep smiling !!!

The Story of the Pencil

A boy was watching his grandmother write a letter. At one point, he asked:
“Are you writing a story about what we’ve done? Is it a story about me?”
His grandmother stopped writing her letter and said to her grandson:
“I am writing about you, actually, but more important than the words is the pencil I’m using. I hope you will be like this pencil when you grow up.”
Intrigued, the boy looked at the pencil. It didn’t seem very special.
“But it’s just like any other pencil I’ve ever seen!”
“That depends on how you look at things. It has five qualities which, if you manage to hang on to them, will make you a person who is always at peace with the world.”

“First quality: you are capable of great things, but you must never forget that there is a hand guiding your steps. We call that hand God, and He always guides us according to His will.”

“Second quality: now and then, I have to stop writing and use a sharpener. That makes the pencil suffer a little, but afterwards, he’s much sharper. So you too, must learn to bear certain pains and sorrows, because they will make you a better person.”

“Third quality: the pencil always allows us to use an eraser to rub out any mistakes. This means that correcting something we did is not necessarily a bad thing; it helps to keep us on the road to justice.”

“Fourth quality: what really matters in a pencil is not its wooden exterior, but the graphite inside. So always pay attention to what is happening inside you.”

“Finally, the pencil’s fifth quality: it always leaves a mark. In just the same way, you should know that everything you do in life will leave a mark, so try to be conscious of that in your every action.”

Self Appraisal

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits (phone numbers).
The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:
Boy: "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?
Woman: (at the other end of the phone line): "I already have someone to cut my lawn."
Boy: "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now."
Woman: I'm very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn.
Boy: (with more perseverance) : "Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach , Florida."
Woman: No, thank you.
With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.
Store Owner: "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."
Boy: “No thanks”
Store Owner: But you were really pleading for one.
Boy: No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!"
This is what we call "Self Appraisal"

Love Quotations

1. Love is a touch, a kiss, a glance that can make any day feel like the first day of spring.
2. Love is the feeling of true happiness; Love is the language that two hearts express.
3. Love’s glow makes life bright: Love’s joy makes problems light: Love makes all the things seem more worthwhile.
4. Love shows itself in myriad ways as in a sunny smile and a gentle look.
5. Love makes your life richer in more ways than one; it teaches you the beautiful song that only a loving heart can hum.
6. Love can transform the most common place into beauty and splendor, and sweetness, and grace.
7. Love is two people who know just as soon as they meet that being together, makes life more complete.
8. Love is a beautiful gift to be given away, enriching the lives of two people each day.
9. Love is that wonderful time when two hearts understand that laughter and sorrows are shared hand in hand.
10. Love is a sincere emotion that gives meaning to life; Love is a gentle feeling and caring for the loved one, through times of fun and strife.
11. Love is a pristine and fresh as petals with dew; Love is always real; Love is true.
12. Love is like magic and it always will be for love still remains life’s sweet mystery.
13. Love is a gift to treasure forever given by GOD without price tag or measure.
14. Love is unselfish, understanding and kind, for it sees with its heart and not with its mind.
15. Love works in ways that are wondrous and strange and there’s nothing in life that love cannot change.
16. Love is the answer that everyone seeks.
17. Love is the language that every heart speaks.
18. Love that shared by two is like a soft, melodic song, that moves in perfect harmony and lasts a whole life song.
19. Love is the warmth of a smile, a soft , gentle touch, two special people who care very much.
20. There is nothing like Love to make a day memorable and sweet in every day.

Guts.....

On a ship, the Project Managers of three different companies belonging to 3 different nations were traveling with their Trainee guys.

They started an argument on whose Trainee Engineer had more guts.

The American PM called for one of his men and told him to jump off and take a round swimming around the moving ship.

The Trainee did as he was commanded. The American PM boasted of by saying, "See the guts!"

Now the German PM called out for one of his men and asked him to take two similar rounds around the moving ship.

The Trainee did as he was told. When he came back from the water the German PM said, "See the guts!"

Now the Indian PM called out for his most courageous man and asked him to take five similar rounds.

The Trainee promptly replied, " Why the hell should I ???"

The PM proudly said, "See the guts!"